I have
decided to write a recapitulation of each year of my life, I decided this last
year.
2015 was definitely a year full of experiences; I could
say it was one of the best times of my life. After many ups and downs, 2015
only went uphill.
However, this year I can´t talk only about me;
because this year was about bravery and courage, and if I want to explain that,
I must mention you.
I must,
because when I dreamt about being brave and helping people or I closed my eyes
and imagined myself giving a speech about peace... I honestly had no idea what
really took to be a strong person. I only learned that lesson when I met you,
so when you asked what was my biggest achievement of the year I had to answer
that it was meeting you.
For those
who don't know you… let me tell you
about Ali. Ali is from Iraq, born in Bagdad. He is a Shia Muslim, a trait
apparently none defining of a human being that actually became a burden for him
and his family. Ali believes in God and prays; he also walks to Karbala and
fasts in Ramadan. Ali keeps a secret from his family to protect them, a really
big one that, in an act of sacrifice, surrenders his being for the being of his
loved ones. Very important, Ali loves cats.
Ali is my friend because we met, and for a guy like
him and someone like me is simply a miracle to stay visible in one place for
long enough to bond. We never decide, we grasp the chances and so we met and
became friends. Also, after seeing all those people showing their great acts,
Ali simply smiled at life and laughed with me. He, whom had witnessed death and
carried a secret, he was being strong and brave by living and not getting or
wanting recognition for it. Meanwhile I was just being me and Ali accepted it,
which was also great since we were so different; when I was drunk he would
listen, when he prayed I waited, when I studied he encouraged me, when he
struggled I learned from him. We were different, we met, we became friends.
Last year I lost many things; I lost hope for life
mostly. This year I learned to fly and felt no fear. Look at me Ali, are you
proud? Last year I loved until I could love no longer and I became empty
inside; then I saw how much you have been through and was inspired. Last year I
closed my eyes hoping to never see light, this year I prayed again because I
feared but also because I was thankful.
I learned something very important for the future
Ali. I learned that love is to be able to show our weaknesses and not be
ashamed. Life happened to me last year, but I learned to carry it with me as
humility. I learned about myself that all I want is a motive bigger than me; I
would jump into the void for it. You are lucky because you have God, but I yet
need to find my faith.
I want to tell you something, I still have a lot of
passion in me. I feel intense hate sometimes for all the pain; I can´t sleep
when bombs are flying, when small coffins are buried, when idiots decide to
attack the wrong city. Because it´s always the wrong city and it will always
be. That´s why I admire you, because despite your reality you smile and I cry.
This year I realized a world war is being fought in the Middle East, not called
as such because it´s there and not here.
I want to
tell you another secret. I wished I had buried my little cat under a tree to
have a place where I could go and cry and may be pray. That pain will never go
away, but in my heart that seed became a flower, warn and sweet.
When I
started writing this, it was supposed to be about last year, it then
transformed into a letter to a friend and lastly in a story about myself. All
three are part of me as one big ocean. Ali, me and life, like water, like al-Bahar.
To end, I
want to make a list of wishes for next year:
1.
I wish
the war ends for all and no other will ever start again
2.
I wish
your secret ends and sets you free
3.
I wish
for us to meet again
4.
I wish to
speak in your same tongue
5.
I wish to
fall in love so hard I find myself in another´s eyes
6.
I wish to
pursue a goal so far and never lose my ground
7.
I wish to
find my faith
8.
I wish we
create a little peace of mind for some
CRO
PS. My
gift is this, because my father played it every year to me:
